she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
