whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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