But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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