i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize