Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i am craving dick and cupcakes
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
we should paint friendship bongs
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