His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
