Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
