This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize