I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize