I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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