"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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