I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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