just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
