Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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