YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
