You're completely useless in the revolution.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
