Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize