yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize