You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
