I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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