didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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