Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
