I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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