Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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