Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
