is your mom at the bar?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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