I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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