You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
