Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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