That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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