nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Everything about him screamed your future.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
