i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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