She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
