I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
