Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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