I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
