Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
