oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
