just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
