he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
