You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
