I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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