He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
