Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
