Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
