I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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