I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
