ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
