He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
