that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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