What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
