I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
