Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
