I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
