dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
