Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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