dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
