Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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