singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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