I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
