I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
