That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Plan B is the new Plan A
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
